LITTLE REMINDERS EVERY 20 SOMETHING NEEDS TO HEAR

Tuesday, April 18, 2017 London, UK


I'm a twenty-something. More specifically, I'm 24 (25 in July! CRAZY!) and sometimes I feel like our twenties are the hardest part of our lives. Even harder than being a teenager, yes, I just said that, no regrets, no coming back.

Being a twenty-something is just hard, there is no other way to describe the most doubtful and overwhelming years of our lives.
We're not teenagers anymore but we're not adults just yet; we're here, wondering around and spending a lot of time in a fetal position on our beds, thinking about our lives and how the hell we're supposed to survive. 
We overthink about work and opportunities we don't have and spend time on Instagram asking ourselves why those people have the life we so desperately want when we're still here, more confused than ever, while our friends are getting engaged and some of them are having the first babies. 
Well, welcome to the club!
But listen, being a twenty-something doesn't mean you have to have all and now, you're not dying tomorrow, you have a lot of time to figure out who you are, where you want to be in five years time, what you want to do with your life and your potential.
So stop being a drama queen now, because you're not alone, we are all feeling this way, and if this little encouragement doesn't affect you, don't worry, I have a list of stuff every twenty-something needs to hear once in a while.



YOU DON'T NEED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP TO FEEL HAPPY 

OR SOMEWHAT FULFILLED.


You heard it right. I know, your friends are constantly reminding you how great being with someone is, and I bet your gay friend has a more exciting love life than you do (mine certainly does) but that doesn't mean you NEED to be in one just yet.
If you feel like being alone is great for you now, then you don't have to listen to people who tell you otherwise.
If you want a relationship but somehow nobody seems interested in having one with you, remember that IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT and that things will work out for you, at the end.

GRADES DON'T MATTER.


Here's another truth. I remember being in High School and watching teachers praise the girls sitting first row. In their minds, they were the smartest, the more collaborative, the ones who would spend all day studying and bringing home the best grades.
Well, guess what, as soon as they went to Uni, those same girls couldn't upgrade to year two because they weren't good enough. Shocking!
What I'm trying to say is that, if you weren't that good at school, that doesn't mean you're not good at life. Grades don't define you, they are important for your school life, yes, obviously, but as soon as you're out of school and living your daily life, they stop being that important. They stop existing.
Grades don't make you a successful or unsuccessful person. 
They're just grades. In a few years, it'll be over.

DON'T FEEL BAD IF YOU'RE NOT IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FRIENDS 

FROM HIGH SCHOOL.


It's totally okay to move on.
Maybe you thought your friendship would have lasted but if it didn't there is no way you can force it.
One thing I learned over the years is that you can't force your presence into someone's life.
There's no way it can work fine.
I had the greatest of friends in High School, the best years of my life, but some of them just didn't make it to my adult circle and that is totally fine.
It's okay to let people go.

IT'S OKAY TO FEEL LOST.


I mean, I am. Totally, uncomfortably lost.
But I also know that it's normal, it's like a rite of passage, you need to go through that phase, it's mandatory.
I also know that some people feel more lost than others and I totally get you.
I have these big dreams I can't quite reach right now and I have these projects I can't work on just yet and I feel caged.
I feel like someone has chained my hands and feet and I can do nothing but waiting.
It's daunting. And it makes you feel left behind whenever you see all those posts on Facebook of people you know moving to other countries. 
Been there. Done that.
But if you don't feel lost now, could you imagine how it would be like when you'll be 35 with a family? It's better now and it's normal, so don't stand there thinking it'll never go away because it will.
I promise you, it will get better.

IF YOU'RE NOT PERFECTLY IN SHAPE, 

DON'T MAKE A TRAGEDY OUT OF IT.


Listen, as I'm writing this, I am the biggest I've ever been. I could blame it on Easter and all the chocolate and on my mum for cooking so much delicious food.
But the reality is, it's my fault.
I binge-eat and I have my reasons even if they're not excuses.
What I also know is that I could easily go to the gym and work out for my belly to just disappear.
I don't like what I see in the mirror, and there are days where I can't even bring myself in front of a looking glass. It is what it is.
But if you don't like what you see BECAUSE of what society makes you believe, then just f**k 'em off.
If you feel comfortable in your curves or your crazy slim waist, what others say is just bullshit.
What you want your body to look like, it's totally up to you.
If you like what you see, enjoy it and don't listen to people's opinions, they are always meant to bring you down. 
You have to live with your body for the rest of your life, if there's someone who can express an opinion, that person is you and you only.
Remember that.

YOU CAN EAT PIZZA LEFTOVERS FOR BREAKFAST 

AND GELATO FOR DINNER.


It's your life, you can do whatever you want.
You're young and people expect you to be weird and careless and free and most certainly broke.
Your metabolism won't be the same as now, so go eat that pizza and gelato and chips mixed with chocolate, even if it's not that time of the month where it's okay to #EATALLTHEFOOD
Eat it anyway, because you like it, because you nee it, because why the f**k not?
Live a little.
Be adventurous.
Be wild.

STOP WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU 

& START LOVING YOURSELF.


Don't worry, I'm guilty of that too.
I expect people to like me and to realise how cool I am when in reality all I want is their opinion on me, I want them to believe I'm that cool because I doubt it, because I need their reassurance, I need to feel cool.
But the truth is if you're not the first who believe in yourself, nobody will.
If you don't feel comfortable within your own body, your personality, people will notice that and they will think that too, eventually.
Do not wait to be accepted; do not wait for people to get how incredible you are; you should think that of yourself.
If you can't love yourself, you can't stand still waiting for someone to love you.
Self-love is the bravest and hardest kind of love but it's the most rewarding.
It's the kind of love that stays with you forever.
Nobody will take that from you.
Boyfriends, girlfriends, friends in general,
they can love you,
they can fall in love with you
but they can also fall out of love with you.
But if you love yourself, there's no greater and more long-lasting love than that.

Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself.






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